Reply to Should I go back to work to get DH to step up?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You're angry at your spouse, but you chose him and his career. He can't be a part time surgeon and yeah it's unrealistic for him to take a sick day (and cancel someone's surgery!) to take your kid to the doctor.

I think what you need is either a nanny or a housekeeper. I found a part time nanny and it's been life changing. She works 2:30 (when kids get out of school) to 6/6:30. She helps tag team the kids and I finish dinner. She helps set the table and corral the kids (two are toddlers). I only have her 4 days a week too, but it's just taken a big load off of me. DH gets home at 6pm usually and all of us can eat dinner together. I work full time, but she's basically like having a SAHM. I'm so glad she picks the kids up from their activities and school. I don't feel like I'm missing time with them, nor spending an hour driving them at night. [/quote]

The surgeon in our block works hard, helps take care of one SN kid and other kids, plus has a caterpillar snow plow and does the whole neighborhood so he can get to the hospital when it snows! His wife works in a demanding profession too. With travel.

Yours sounds like a selfish dud. [/quote]

+1
There is a surgeon on our block (married to an anesthesiologist wife) and he has always been around plenty. I think both parents’ schedules vary some (and they always had a nanny when the kids were very small- I think they just use sitters and  grandparent help now that the kids are upper elementary and middle school) but the dad was at the bus stop plenty of mornings when the kids were little and other times there in the afternoons. The mom travels a fair amount for her hobby and the surgeon dad has the kids on the weekend when she does. Obviously he would use sitters or grandma as needed but is certainly present for the kids. Lots of social media posts with him taking the kids out etc. He obviously works a lot but seems about as present as any other dad in the neighborhood to me. [/quote]

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