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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I've had two of those relationships in my life. The first with a gay man who was infatuated with me (a woman), the second with a heterosexual man who does not want to cheat on his wife. Both were more than friendships, but not physically sexual. Romance is the right word for it.

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How did these relationships turn out for you?[/quote]

They bring mutual joy and psychological support while they last.

I'm in my 40s. I find that a disappointing number of people have a very black and white view of the world, informed by millennia of religious patriarchy. Until very recently, lineage was everything because there were no paternity tests and illegitimate children messed up inheritances and bloodlines. The medieval brain has trouble evolving to meet the technological inventions of today and modifying its mores to suit. Supposedly modern people, who are not religious and claim to be sociologically aware, still operate within the confines of a society that imposes a certain type of monogamy and view anything outside of that in a very negative light. Such as the posters who call everyone cheaters.

I see shades of grey. It's all on a friendship continuum. There are friends with whom you can settle down, marriage and kids, hopefully sexual compatibility. There are friends with whom you can have a romance. There are friends you value just for their platonic support. These friends can be male or female, or anything in between.

Love is not just reserved for your long-term home companion. Surely you have some type of love for all your friends, kids and treasured relatives, male and female, regardless of what specific type of relationship you have with them. You just need to be clear about what you want and respect what others want, notably the person who lives with you and has the greatest claim on your time and resources.

It's tiresome to be regimented in little boxes and be told by idiots that you can do X with your husband (say, catch a dinner and movie, go swimming, go on a road trip), but not with this friend, unless she's female, and then it's OK, and you can behave like this towards your sister, but not your brother, and definitely not your BIL. It's stupid and pointless. All coming from ancient strictures on sex.

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THIS. [/quote]

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