Reply to Secretly starting to resent husband and all the care of his elderly mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your DH is in a tough spot. Show compassion and help him handle things so he isn't the designated villain here while trying his best to do right by everyone.

I would reach out to his siblings and ask them to help him out as it's draining him personally and putting his marriage at risk. [/quote]

I have posted before, but as someone who has been in this stage for years and attended support groups, expecting siblings to do more than they are willing is not a solution. If they planned to do more they would. You cannot demand they do more or try to guilt trip them with how drained he is or even that they are someone responsible for what goes on in his marriage. He can certainly make sure they are aware of how much work there is and see if they will do more, but then you have to let it go.

Also, OP is showing compassion and she has a right to her feelings. I venture to say everyone makes sacrifices, has compassion, etc those first few emergencies. In our case it has gone on for close to a decade.

It is up to OP and her husband to figure out their limits and solutions that usually involved hiring people to take on certain roles with the elderly parent if siblings will not. it is one thing to tell OP to have more compassion and suck it up for a visit, or a few emergencies or even a year. This can go on for much longer than expected and it absolutely does take a toll on marriages and kids.[/quote]

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