Reply to Dh does not want a third child but will have one if I want to

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[quote=Anonymous]I think the risk of having another kid and it being too much/impact on your body and health/resenting the extension of the baby and toddler obligations/impact on marriage if your spouse is not really totally on board is too high.

Like yes, if it all works out, you wind up with another child who of course you will love and be happy exists. Of course. That is what it is to have kids. You are never going to be like "I wish you didn't exist." But if the impact of a 3rd child creates negative externalities that lead to stress and conflict in our life, I don't think it's worth it. Especially because you're in a position where you have a choice.

I just feel like your arguments in favor are like "it would be nice for DD to have a sister" and "I just like the idea of three kids." Well what if your daughters don't get along? What if your third kid is the reason you have health issues for the next few decades? Scoff if you want, but the pregnancy I had at 37 caused a hip and nerve issue that is still a quality of life issue for me 10 years later. Now, in my case, that baby was my 1st baby and therefore 100% worth it to me. When I deal with those health issues, I understand that without them, I might not be a mom at all.

But you already have two kids, and you already have some health issues associated with prior pregnancies, and your spouse doesn't really want to do it. To me that's a ton of risk for this pregnancy with a very limited upside and a lot of potential downside. I would not risk it.[/quote]

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