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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like a midlife crisis that is intensified by OP's sense that she missed out on earlier stages of life mixed with trying to overcome trauma. I think she's as risk of blowing up her life even more. [/quote]

Or.

She’s realized that she’s created a life on a foundation of trauma and is actually quite toxic for her. [/quote]

WTF does that even mean?

OP (if not a troll, sigh) is stuck in a victim mentality and now wants to be her husband’s victim.  It’s basically a mid life crisis.[/quote]

She is not stuck. She is simply where she is today. She is seeing how her past trauma informed her decision-making and understanding the impacts.

What she is realizing is that personal growth does translate to better relationships. In fact, they can be massively destabilising. And that’s is a really tough realization and takes time to process.

What OP may be discovering is that her relationship is based on a foundation where she sacrificed needs she wasn’t even aware she had, like intimacy. And now she’s asking for her needs to be met and her DH isn’t showing up.

Ultimately she’ll need to decide whether she accepts that her DH won’t change and her marriage is what it is. Or she’ll have to end it and accept the risk and responsibility that comes from ending the relationship.

[/quote]

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