Reply to Boomer parents/realities of aging in place

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]But people in their 80s were once in their 60s and 70s and could have made better decisions then instead of leaving a mess for others to deal with. Really, around 65 is the time we should make decisions, downsize, decide what where we will go when independent living is not an option. [/quote]

+1. It's especially puzzling because I remember my parents' total relief when one set of my grandparents sold their SFH and moved into an assisted living place in their late-60s before the serious health problems started. My other set of grandparents refused to do this and it caused a lot of stress for my parents when my grandmother had a fall and there were no bedrooms or full baths on the main floor of their home. My parents are in their 80s and have no plans to downsize and refuse to even discuss it.[/quote]

This is my situation too--my mom went through hell and back with her own mother who refused to make any plans for anything and then it all went to crap in an emergency situation. So after her experience, I though for sure she'd make some longterm plans to avoid the same fate for herself and my father. We even talking about it years ago and she assured me it was on her radar.

But now they're nearing 80, both in decent but declining health, and have no plans to do anything to make their next stage of life easier on themselves or my siblings and I. If anything, they are doing things that undermine their own success, like taking out a mortgage on their long-paid off home to make some unecessary cosmetic changes but blistering at the idea that they also look at making some modifications to make aging place easier (like converting an unused den into a first floor master suite with an accessible bathroom). Or adopting a large breed dog that needs a tremendous amount of exercise when neither of them are really up to that sort of thing. It's maddening. [/quote]

Okay, I would find that frustrating, especially the dang dog. While my ILs did move to an all on one floor arrangement with a finished walk out basement and an en-suite bedroom in case they need live-in help, they did get a dang puppy. I found this move confounding as FiL did all the walking and he is no longer that mobile to do so. My MiL now does but not as robustly as it needs to be for a young dog. There are so many housebroken dogs available to rescue. I don't know if this one will ever fully be so.[/quote]

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