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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Why are people who don’t allow dating fir their teens even posting here??

OP's kid is already dating. That ship has left the port. She wants to know how she should support her. Why not answer the question instead of coming hear to brag about your excellent teen raising skills.
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You realize their teens are just doing everything behind their back. After school clubs are make-out sessions and kids sext and send pics and ft each other.  That is the type of relationships the kids get into when parents are that controlling. [/quote]

As my teen said regarding some other stuff (not dating): "Parents allow it because they think everyone is doing it".

But, they aren't.[/quote]

Not the person you are replying to, but as a middle school teacher, you are very wrong.

I see kids logging into their social medias on friends phones because they aren’t allowed. Girls changing clothes or taking off their hoodie because they aren’t allowed certain clothes.  Old phones being brought in for kids who aren’t allowed to have them. Young kids in relationships even though they aren’t allowed. And way more vaping and drugs than I have ever seen tweens/teens ever do in any decade or generation.

There are only certain ways for kids to fit in and all middle schoolers want to do is fit in. They will go behind their parents back to do it every time. I am not saying it’s right, but you literally can’t believe that there are more kids waking a solo straight line than kids pushing the limits to conform to the norm. [/quote]

Sorry to break it to you, teacher, but not all kids are trying to fit in. [/quote]

But they said more are trying to fit in than are not and I agree with that. [/quote]

The teacher also implied that everyone is doing the forbidden thing and there is no point in trying to have any restrictions whatsoever. The kids will do whatever they need to do to fit in. "Parents, just give up" - teacher[/quote]

The teacher did not say that. What were you reading? LOL

Parenting changes daily. You pick your battles. The job of a teen is going from child to adult and we are supposed to help guide them. Not snowplow and certainly not to outright forbid. It’s teaching compromise. Sone days they act like toddlers. Some days they need help. Other days they want independence and push their limits. We balance.

I allow my teens to date but I am certainly not going to allow them being alone, hang out in bedrooms, buy lavish gifts or go on more adultish dates. But I am also not naive to realize that kids don’t make the best decisions and I watch relationships closely and have good open dialogue with my kids.

Heartbreak is tough, just like OP said but watching my teens navigate the ups and downs of life and becoming adults is honestly a joy. If I belittled them, decreased their voices or dictating all of their decisions I know they would struggle once alone in college. So it’s a balance we work on and communicate and change as needed. 
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Exactly!!  Raising teens and being involved in their lives is a lot of work.  It isn't setting such hardfast rules that kids can't feel like they can communicate or have a voice with their parents.  But it also isn't letting teens walk all over you.  [/quote]

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