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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m sending my youngest to college next year. He got into a good school early addmission and all of my kids  did well.  But as I look back on this parenting experience it occurs to me that the kids with the fanaticaly involved parents did the best - academically and  athletically.

When the kids were in early elementary school,  I remember shaking my head as my fellow parents talked about advanced  math tutoring for their kindergartener or plotting to get their second grader on the most competitive travel team.  At the time it seemed so silly to chart out the life of a kid who still needed naps. However, looking at those kids now - those are the kids who are going on to play sports at top colleges.

My takeaway is that even if you are a committed free range parent - your kid is in a competitive environment competing for scarce opportunities to go to top schools and play for competitive  school teams.

I’m not unhappy about how my kids turned out or their experience in high School.  But I don’t think I realized the [b]the decision not to push advanced math in grade school meant a  diminished opportunity to go to Tech or UMD.  I definitely didn’t realize that only doing town baseball (and not travel) meant that they wouldn’t make the highschool team.  [/b]

It not like my kids were  slouches. They played on at least one rec team every season. Swim team in the summer and got good grades and scores on standardized tests.

But I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve pushed harder [b]our results would’ve been much better[/b].[/quote]

Yes to the bold. If any of this matters to parents, and the children have the capacity and capability (the latter are super important, critical), there needs to be a plan. If the children do not have the capacity and capability, they no amount of pushing would advance them. They key I think is knowing your kid and understanding their potential, and then lining up the opportunities accordingly. [/quote]

I haven't gotten far in this thread but it seems sick.
So the two measurements of good parenting are these successful outcomes: 1) college acceptances 2) playing sports at a college (related to 1)[/quote]

No. Good parenting means making the most of your kid's potential. Your kid may not have what it takes to get into college or play sports at any level, so obviously those can't be measures. The measurement of success is whether you as a parent figured out what your kid's potential was, and whether you helped your kid achieve that. For some kids, their max potential is just to be nice people, and if you've taught them how to be nice, then you've achieved success.[/quote]

+1. As special needs parents know, some kids will never function independently as adults. Yet the parents' job remains to make the most of the life these kids have because every life is precious. If they've done that, that's success.[/quote]

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