Reply to What makes a kid popular in middle school?

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Reply to "What makes a kid popular in middle school?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'm thinking through this again and I think the number one thing is being self-assured and self-confident. Kids who are popular are self-assured, charismatic, very secure in their own skin----they have a "good vibe."

Honestly, I think you either "have IT or you don't" and this starts at a very early age.  It's really impossible to teach this stuff Kids (humans) either have this vibe or they don't!  There are many of us with multiple kids who have one who is "naturally cool" and others who are not---despite being parented the exact same way.

[/quote]

I somewhat disagree.  For many of the so-called popular kids, that confidence comes from the safety in numbers and it can be very stressful to stay at the top of the heap.  My kid has plenty of friends but is not part of the popular crowd.  DC has been a target a few times but when she stood up to the nastiness and pushed back, they quickly caved.  That confidence can sometimes come from a false sense that they can get away with things like being mean to others, sweet-talking and conning adults to get out of trouble.  It's quite often not real self-confidence as much as it is false bravado. Boys are probably different but among girls popular is often code for the horrible nastiness that they use to keep others down or jockey for position among their own group.

As I think about the popular kids that I know of, one was already sending inappropriately sexual videos to boys in 6th grade, one was arrested for shoplifting a fairly large dollar amount from a local store, there is unfettered access to social media and a lot of unsupervised time and lax parenting.  [/quote]

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