Reply to Anybody not want kids but have them anyway? (TTC and unsure)

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[quote=Anonymous]Many of the people saying about how wonderful kids are, they have toddlers. I raised my nieces practically since birth until their early teens, when my brother's divorce was finally over and they moved out with their mother. We still keep in very close contact. Babies are a lot of work, demanding, and frustrating. Toddlers are a joy, I must admit. They are cute and a lot of fun. All that is over when hormones enter the picture. It is hard. You are constantly afraid they will drop out of school and get pregnant at 18. Their dreams change every minute. It's chaotic. Teens are unpredictable.

Having being with my nieces and experienced parenthood so close, I know this is not for me. I'm glad that I had that experience, because is not something I want to sacrifice my entire life for. Six or seven years of fun is not worth the whole lifetime of sacrifices. I love my nieces, I wouldn't imagine my life without them, but I'm glad that I can relegate that responsibility to someone else. Do not have kids for someone else. If you are not sure, that's your answer: DON'T. Your husband should love you and accept you for who you are, not just because you have a vacant uterus.

ps. My SIL was in a similar boat as you. She did not want kids, my brother did. They had a great relationship until she had 2 girls. That lead to a lot of bitterness, a horrible divorce, and now she is the one caring for the girls full time because he wants nothing to do with them. I love my SIL, but her life is sad. Don't get trapped. [/quote]

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