Reply to What does "sex positivity" mean on online dating profiles?

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[quote=Anonymous]
NP. Sure, the term seems to have come from an actually useful attempt to counteract the shame foisted on women over the years if they have any interest in sex and actually enjoy sex.

But let's be honest here: When it's used on OLD in a profile -- the first thing someone sees about you -- it's shorthand for "I am interested in having sex with my dates, preferably as soon as possible."

It's naive to see it on OLD and read it as, "I'm mature and confident and willing to talk openly and frankly about sex and what we both want!" as some are saying -- though again, that was the overall original idea of the term.

But on OLD? Nope, it's not about conversations. OLD is a meat market, and this is a label to say, I won't make you wait for sex/I don't want to wait for sex. Same thinking as those on DCUM who insist that if you don't have sex with someone by the [pick a number: second? third? whatever] date, you need to drop them and move on.

It was a good idea that's been co-opted as a handy label where "positive" means "I positively have sex as the top priority, as soon as possible, and that's why I'm online." Fine. But anyone looking for a relationship beyond sex, who wants to get to know a person and build trust first, should be wary of the term in OLD. [/quote]

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