Reply to What does "sex positivity" mean on online dating profiles?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "What does "sex positivity" mean on online dating profiles?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sex positivity written on a man's profile in a dating site conveys to me that he is interested in a wide variety of sex acts and has his own kinks and desires high frequency (which is fine) but will label you as "not sex positive" if you do not agree to his tastes and frequency (which is not fine).

For me this is a kind of "coercive control" that is often part of abusive relationships.  I have met a number of men who are into some version of non-monogamy, BDSM, etc. who use the label "frigid" for partners or potential partners who express a lack of interest in those activities.

That kind of labelling creates a kind of not-truly-consensual quality to the professed "sex positivity", IME.[/quote]

+1000. Women and girls are still pressured and manipulated into sex they don’t want, all the time. A man saying he is “sex positive” or wanting a “sex positive” date rings all kinds of warning bells to me. [/quote]

Mmm - this sort of proves the point about being more open about sex - first and foremost with yourself.  Women who are empowered about sex and their sexuality are not going to be pressured or manipulated by a man who claims to be sex positive but isn’t. [/quote]

Are you confusing putting a chili pepper on your OLD profile with actually being open about sex?[/quote]

?  What? [/quote]

PP seemed to be arguing that by labeling themselves as “sex positive” on OLD, women can become more empowered. I’m saying that’s silly and has zero to do with how empowered a woman actually is another her sexuality. [/quote]

PP was arguing that men who claim to be sex positive are actually being manipulative.  I wrote in response that women who are comfortable talking about sex and their sexuality (ie - not ashamed) are less likely to be manipulated re: sex and certainly would be able to see thru a dudes BS better.

Also - the shaming around signaling in a straightforward (albeit imperfect way) that one is into sex and sex communication on OLD underscores the need for more transparency and comfort around discussing it.  I mean - we include preferences for hiking or sports teams or food on OLD.  [/quote]

Everyone is into sex. That is why they are on OLD. It’s not shaming to say that a man advertising himself as “sex positive” is raising a lot of questions about himself.

And again - a woman can be very comfortable talking about sex without putting “sex positive” on her profile. that’s the subject here. no need to label or advertise it. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics