Reply to Our daughter “married well.” Nobody is happy about it

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Our daughter “married well.” Nobody is happy about it"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Someone probably told her she could have it all and that's what she's trying to do. Wonder who that could have been?[/quote]

You cut to the core of it, I suppose. Did we instill these values in her. Or did outside pressures; the culture of the colleges she attended, the friend groups and work colleagues, her generation. I don’t know. I just miss my granddaughter and it makes me sad that I only get to see my granddaughter and daughter a few times a year. And my daughter’s marriage is eroding. And all for what exactly? So a handful of other rootless careerists can be envious of the things on her and her husband’s LinkedIn? I just don’t get it and I don’t get why so many other young people are chasing this “ideal”. [/quote]

Have you worked outside the home, OP?

This is why I have always been a working mother:  I value my education, the skills I developed, and my self-sufficiency.  It makes me feel safe and self-confident to know that I support our family well in ways that include e.g., saving for college, saving for retirement, going on nice vacations, helping extended family if they need it, and giving our kids extras including e.g., music lessons, sports activities, and other such life-enriching pursuits.  My husband and I are true partners in our joint project of raising the family and our kids see that men and women both work and provide childcare and handle cooking, housekeeping, etc. and that these tasks are not gendered by nature.  That said, should my marriage implode tomorrow, I will be fine financially because I have great skills and competence.

Although U.S. policies don't support dual-income families vis-a-vis e.g. maternity care and childcare, that doesn't mean that marriages "erode" because it's hard to balance everything.  If your daughter's marriage is in trouble (how do you know this exactly?), it is not because she is a working mother.  There are other issues there.  (If she divorced, she would need too work for sure.)

Regarding those "lower class strangers" who care for your grandchild:  They are only "lower class" because our society undervalues their work, largely because it is work performed historically by women.  Were it not for these "strangers" working across the country providing childcare and other necessary tasks to keep the home front going, our entire economy would implode.

Do you have the same disdain for the teachers who are strangers to us and "raise" our children?[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics