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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]At some point you are going to sell the house and you’d need to upgrade the kitchen and bathrooms to get full value, and not just repainting the cabinets. Many buyers will not want to take on the project so you are limiting the audience. Doing it now will save you money in the long run and you will get to enjoy it. Come up with a redo and timing that is the least disruptive to your living there. [/quote]

OP here. I know all of this and have said it all repeatedly. Falls on deaf ears. I feel confident that rationale and common sense are on my side. It doesn’t matter - it’s like talking to a brick wall on this subject. He’s perfectly pleasant on other subjects. Funny, a good father. We take vacations, he doesn’t nit pick day to day household spending. But any mention of this and he’s just like[b] “mmm hmmm, that’s nice, but NO.[/b]”[/quote]

What does he value? Say NO to whatever it is he wants to buy or do. [/quote]

Sadly, [b]he values growing numbers on a balance sheet. He wins, I lose. [/b]I do work, but he makes way more. I am by far the primary parent though and handle the mental load, the food planning/shopping/prepping and most of the cleaning. [/quote]

You’ve capitulated way too easily.

Based on what you shared, it IS about the money. He values investing more than a kitchen.

Which is why you need to get a new job, a second job, etc to fund the renovation.  [/quote]

Who will cook, clean and do all the laundry while I’m at my second job? Your idea sounds nice, but [b]I’m pretty stuck unless I want family life to collapse which I don’t.[/b] [/quote]

You are choosing to be a victim. You're not stuck. You could earn more money to pay for it yourself, but you're choosing not to. Own your choices.[/quote]

We have the money, 20x over. It’s not as though the money only belongs to him. [/quote]

Then spend it. There is no reason for this post if you believe the above.[/quote]

I don’t believe it, it’s true.

BUT it wouldn’t solve my issue that it’s really hurtful to me that he doesn’t value at all that this is important to me. It would just be great if he would say “I don’t understand wanting this, but it’s clearly very important to you so I want you to have it. Let’s keep the budget to X.” Or something like that. It would mean everything to me. Doing it to spite him/in spite of him is not what I want. [/quote]

Well, listen to what everyone is telling you: Your feelings aren’t valid, you silly, vapid woman. Stomping and pouting because you don’t get something you want?!?! Dafuq are you 5 or some shit like that?[/quote]

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