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[quote=Anonymous]I am one year in and clearly have a way to go. He chose to leave our 20 year relationship, so we are separated.

So many of these posts spoke to me. The initial six months in particular were brutal, I could feel actual physical pain in my chest. One year later, I can feel things improving. There is still not a day that goes by when I don't think about it several times a day. OP, I felt something similar to what you said about being shot - he ran me over with a truck. But the pendulum is slowly swinging from feeling I had failed to realizing that he has. He has chosen to move on with life, which includes leaving our children who are in elementary and middle school. So through this, I have tried to hold on to my job, keep the ship stable for my kids, and just keep my head above water. I did, and so will you. Anti-anxiety meds have been helpful. I send you and all other PPs love and solidarity.

To PPs who have made dismissive comments, I am confused by your objective here - other than piling on upon people, mostly women, who are sharing about a traumatic turning point in their lives. This is not just about sex. This is about intentional manipulation of your mind, lying, gaslighting over a LONG time. You know something is off, you try to ask or address, and you are given this fake narrative of your own life. I also knotted myself into pretzels like one PP trying to make things "right." All along one party has very different knowledge and keeps it from you.

Counting down to the 3-5 years. OP, don't allow yourself to just be taken along, of course try to make it work if he is making amends, just put yourself first this time. [/quote]

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