Reply to How do you “emotionally support” a woman?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Rather than something tangible like abuse, addiction etc it’s simply her rationale to end the marriage in a way that’s tough to argue with even if you have examples where you have been supportive. She probably has examples where you weren’t supportive. No spouse is ever emotionally supportive 24/7. There are plenty of times where my husband is not emotionally supportive of me because he disagrees with me on an issue. He will listen but disagree. My husband is not emotionally warm and fuzzy but he is very smart and logical so he will look at an emotional problem I’m having and analyze it. Mostly he agrees but often he doesn’t but I can live with that because he’s often right. [/quote]

This.

Problem with op’s wife is that she is a whiner and expects op to validate all her feelings regardless of how irrational she be sometimes. Op is not allowed to have his own opinion. Anytime he has a different take on his wife’s problems, he is considered not being emotionally supportive. [/quote]

NP here.  That's not at all how I view being emotionally supportive.  For me, it means hug me or rub my back, make sympathetic sounds like "aww" (or a noncommittal "mmm" if you disagree).  It's being an engaged listener and asking follow-up questions.

It's all just emotional intelligence.  Unfortunately I think you either have it or you don't.  It's hard to learn if it doesn't come naturally.  But, essentially, just hold her in your arms and shut up.[/quote]

That's what it is for you. Part of the problem is that "emotional support" is different for every individual. The phrase itself conveys a very limited amount of meaning. [/quote]

No, it's a descriptive, precise term if you have an ounce of emotional intelligence.  It's being supportive of someone in an emotional way as opposed to, I dunno, physically propping them up.  It has nothing to do with agreeing or disagreeing with her -- your opinions on play no role here, it's not a time for debate or being intellectually stimulating. [/quote]

Part of the problem is some women are unhinged and they expect their husbands to support them no matter how much of a hill she is making out of the mole.[/quote]

When you are trying to understand something, sometimes it's helpful to see a counterexample. So OP, here we have a perfect illustration of what is NOT emotional support. Don't be like this.[/quote]

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