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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m of the impression my parents paid for most of my wedding at age 29yo because 1) they could, 2) they wanted a say in inviting our huge family 3) they’re parents were not able to pay for their wedding when they were in their early 20s and not quite launched.

[b]It didn’t really occur to me to not have help when they were offering it.[/b] In turn, it would make me as a parent assume that I would help out my kids as well. All the same, if they surpass us in income at the time of their weddings, I might reconsider from a practical sense or have the conversation of your gift is the wedding or a downpayment (if we are so lucky to be in the position to offer that, but I have hope that we will be.)
[/quote]

It didn't occur to me to ask my parents to pay for my wedding when I married at 29.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Paying for a wedding is essentially a dowry.  Think about it. [/quote]

No it isn't, as all that money goes to vendors, not to the bride (or groom or whoever). There's no possible return on investment. Which also distinguishes a wedding from paying for college, as that is an investment in the child's future, including their future earning potential.

I cannot believe it's 2023 -- nearly 2024 -- and we are still operating under the silliest of patriarchal assumptions, such as a) women need to marry and b) when they do, their parents must pay for the wedding. Also, no sensible child would want their parents to splash out on a fancy wedding if they have any clue a) how much it costs for eldercare in this country, b) the time value of money, not to mention c) how much it will take to buy a house or put their own kids through college compared to what it used to.

Couples should not get sucked into the wedding industrial complex, and neither should parents. [/quote]

+1[/quote]

It did not occur to DH or I to ask our parents to pay for our wedding in our mid 20's, either.  Not to mention, what that money could easily have gone toward, especially if the marrying couple does not yet own a house - or even a condo. DH and I paid for our own small wedding, that we could afford. Neither set of parents owe/d us anything, and to think otherwise would be extremely immature - too immature to get married. [/quote]

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