Reply to Just need to vent - discovery of affair

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]“Daddy loves other women.” Even young kids will understand: It’s not your fault, it’s his, and his behavior is marriage-ending. [/quote]

Oh for God’s sake. You don’t burden a child—of any age—with this ish. “There are some specific ways people who are married have to be able to get along and agree and it turns out that we can’t. It has nothing to do with you, we both love you just the same, but we aren’t the right people for each other so we are getting divorced.”[/quote]

I just don't get this line of argument. Dad blew up this kid's stable life. Dad prioritized his gratification over the kid. Dad should not get to have the same admiring relationship with the kid whose life he blew up and Mom should not have to cover for him/take any blame for the situation. Just no. Dad should have thought of this burden before putting his stuff where it doesn't belong. Kid might hate Dad now. That's Dads own fault and what he deserves.[/quote]

DP.  It's not fair, it's unjust, that Dad doesn't get judged by his kids for having an affair and blowing up the marriage.  It's not fair that OP has to bite her tongue, paste on a smile and repeat some platitude about how much they both love the kids rather than telling them their dad, obviously, didn't love them enough.  Yet, it's more unfair to burden the kids with that pain when it can be prevented.

Don't get me wrong, I'd revel in seeing my DH 'punished' if he cheated. But, the cost of that 'just reward' would be too high and my kids would be the primary payers.[/quote]

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