Reply to Rant: I stupidly picked a career that’s not family friendly

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]And I should have considered this more when choosing a career. I graduated during the recession so picked medicine because you can always have a job. But now, I see my friends in law and tech who get 5-6 months paid maternity leave and get to work from home and pump. Meanwhile, I have to fight to get 12 weeks and I work such long hours that I never bonded well with my first baby. Pumping is an inconvenience so I will likely end up formula feeding again (which is fine but I wish I could have more ability to do exclusive breastfeeding.) I should switch careers but I feel trapped since I trained so long to do this. Just wish I had understood this decision more prior to making it. [/quote]

I’m a fed lawyer and had my kids a few years before federal parental leave existed. My agency is very family friendly, but I still only had my accrued leave to take after my kids were born, so I was back in the office after 10 weeks when I was out of leave. With my second kid I was able to telework 2 days a week. There is a lactation room at my office complex, which is a huge benefit, but it was still hard to find time to pump sometimes, when I often had back to back in person meetings.

I don’t doubt that your situation is challenging and I truly do empathize, but I don’t think you picked the wrong career. We were raised to believe that there is such a thing as career/family balance, when really it’s like a see saw. Sometimes career wins and sometimes family wins. Mom is stuck in the middle hoping not to fall off. We don’t have enough institutional or structural support for families, even in family friendly workplaces. It is really difficult for so many of us. It’s disheartening. [/quote]

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