Reply to Rant: I stupidly picked a career that’s not family friendly

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. Maybe I misunderstood my husband’s friends in various fields of law and tech. They seem to have 5-6 months of paid leave (which they all take) then work from home and continue to pump and bond with their babies. The lawyers at my daughters daycare do not miss events and have flexibility. Again they are in all different fields of law (big law, midsize law, in house, government). This post is just a vent post I understand that it is on me to course correct and I will end doing so. Just stinks to train for so long and have nothing to show for it.

I just seems that other white collar jobs have become more flexible and family friendly while medicine falls behind. That’s okay but I think if I understood that beforehand I would have made different choices. [/quote]

PP here in law. I took 6 months of paid leave after having my baby. I continued to WFH and pump until about 8 months. I now still WFH (though many or most law firms are back at least 3 days in office), but there is 0 bonding time during the work day. I generally do not miss events, doctors appointments, dinner, bath time, but it comes at a cost to my sleep and physical health (for example: slept 2am-6:30am for months this year; have had 0 time to exercise; traveling involves red eyes on consecutive days to be home as much as possible). All of these have been personal choices to maximize time with my now-toddler. There is flexibility, but there are always trade offs. If you have stable hours, sufficient sleep, and no travel, I’d say the grass looks pretty green on your side too. [/quote]

PP in tech — same for me (except my 4 and 6 month leaves were unpaid).  I definitely don’t disregard the benefits of working from home and on a somewhat flexible schedule but I pay the price in being expected to work while simultaneously caring for my young children (which I hate; makes me feel like a bad mom and a shoddy employee) when they’re sick or I have to keep working on something in the evening and I often find myself shorting myself in sleep to get everything done.  I also have significant travel twice a year which entails crazy expensive childcare and more mom guilt.  Every field has pros and cons.  It’s fine to look at your friends in law/tech/whatever and see the ways their career is more family friendly than yours but please don’t do through all the bother of retraining yourself into another field only to discover the grass is only selectively greener![/quote]

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