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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Have the two of you discussed how you want to label yourselves? If not, I can understand why he didn’t want to be presumptuous and call you his GF. Use your words and talk to him.[/quote]

We have discussed it before and didn’t see eye to eye. He thinks boyfriend/girlfriend is some HUGE title. He see it the way I see being engaged. The day to day of our relationship is very good. We act like a couple and as far as I can tell (and from his words) he isn’t seeing anyone else. I guess I just have to deal with this “friend” thing. But for me it’s annoying. Titles are a form of respect in my eyes. An even though our relationship emotionally progresses there is a part of me that has a hard time taking him seriously as a potential partner because he keeps calling me his friend.[/quote]

You should have mentioned this in your first post, OP. It's so irritating when people do this - it changes the entire tenor of the issue. This is a big problem. He doesn't want to commit, even with words. [/quote]

Apologies for not making the original post longer. The odd thing is that he is  very committed in deeds. He initiates  spending a ton of time together, plans dates, is always there for me when I need him, invites me into his social life, brings me to work events, considers me in the future, etc. He is just adamant about not calling me his girlfriend. That leads me to be confused on whether I should just continue and be happy because we get along very well, or if this word hang up is indicative of a larger commitment problem.[/quote]

NP - he’s pulling this crap in his 40s?  Hell no.  If he were in his early 20s, I might give him a pass for immaturity.  That’s a total deal-breaker for a man in his 40s to behave this way.  [/quote]

I don’t follow what’s crap here. Sounds like his actions are just right but OP is unhappy with the label. I guess I’m old enough to think actions speak louder than words.[/quote]

Introducing her as his "friend" because he thinks "girlfriend" tantamount to fiancee (Lol) *is* an action.  The OP said she felt like "a random chick he's screwing" when he introduced her as such.  Why stay with someone around whom you feel that way?  [/quote]

OP here. I’d just like to say I normally just feel like his girlfriend because that is how we’ve been acting for a months. But in the moment of being introduced it just felt stupid to be called a friend when there is nothing platonic about us. He regularly brings me around his social circle and I’d be very surprised if there are any other women he currently brings around. But there appears to be this hesitation on his part to assume that I’ll be his date a year from now. It’s odd because he does like me and his friends always comment on how happy he is with me and some have even asked when we are getting married (though that is a bit much for me).[/quote]

I'm the PP you're quoting - please don't discount your feeling stupid in the moment.  I'd probably feel humiliated, since you've been acting like a couple in many ways.  I think it's lousy of him to treat you like a girlfriend in many respects and yet refuse to acknowledge that to others.  As I said earlier, that's a deal-breaker for me with a man in his 40s.  This isn't something he's likely to grow out of.  Moreover, you deserve someone who is excited to introduce you to close friends as his girlfriend.[/quote]

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