Reply to How cruel is parents not paying for oldest children's college, yet paying for the youngest?

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Reply to "How cruel is parents not paying for oldest children's college, yet paying for the youngest?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Happened to my husband.  Parents couldn't afford Boy Scouts for him, but paid for Girl Scouts for his sister.  They didn't have time to take him to travel soccer games or practices, but they could take his brother to all his travel music recitals.  They paid for 100% of brother and sister's college educations.  They even gave sister an allowance through college so she didn't have to work, and they bought her a car.

The dynamic continues now in our 40's and 50's.  They buy daughter and her teenager new phones and laptops every couple of years.  Bought her a new car a few years ago.  Subsidize her rent.  (Mind you, she has a professional job.)

DH worked his way up in a government job with only a HS education, but makes more than his sister.  I've got a decent government job.  We were a 1 car family for years to save money, I cut my own hair, we have a 15 year old car and only replace our phones when they're obsolete or dead.  For many reasons, we don't have much in the way of assets but we have pensions.  One thing we splurge on is travel because I have family abroad and we live to take our child there.

Despite not getting any family support, my DH is the one who they call to drive them to health appointments c fix his dad's car, do jobs around their apartments (they're divorced now) and we are expected to host the extended family for holidays (we have the only house that's central to both parents).  DH does all the heavy lifting of elder care,

So recently DH was told that he and his brother were being taken out of MIL's will because neither he nor his brother really need the money but his sister does.  FIL's will all goes to MIL (they're divorced, but they agreed she would inherit his assets if he does first.) so essentially DH is cut out of both wills.  His brother is legitimately quite wealthy in a field that they financially supported his whole young adulthood.  But we're far from wealthy.  Their evidence that we don't need the money is that we travel every year and own a home.  SIL still rents and seems to spend everything she has (and I'm being judgmental here anonymously, but she spends it on stuff like daily Starbucks for her and her child...which adds up to as much as I spend in airfare, the evidence they have that we don't need money.)

We're not talking about life changing money.  It might be $10,000 or $15,000 for each child at the most.  It's a legitimately helpful sun for paying for a semester of tuition for our child, but we can live without it.  It's just the IDEA of them purposefully excluding DH and his brother to advantage a sister who has already been advantaged her whole life.  And still it's DH who they call on to do all of their errands and literal dirty work like fixing clogged toilets.

And then they wonder why their kids aren't close and don't enjoy spending time together.  [/quote]

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