Reply to Main breadwinner for family but need to quit because of SN child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Tell us more about this: I tried turning it all over to him, but he really screwed things up for DC in a way that we are still trying to correct.
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Op here. DH is unable to talk about the challenges we have with our child. So when he goes to doctors appointments with DC, instead of describing the problems, he talks about how great DC is.

As a result, when trying to get diagnoses or insurance coverage or support from school in the IEP, I’m battling all this documentation that says DC is GREAT and there are no problems. So for example, when making the case for an ASD diagnosis, the docs are confused because DH has been saying DC is fine at all the appointments.

This has created massive delays in getting medication, diagnosis, therapies, etc.[/quote]

OP, respectfully, how is it that anyone needs to "make a case" for ASD? That's not how it's diagnosed. There is ADOS-2 and parent questionnaires.  If you are talking about referrals - at your income, f&%ck it and get a private eval if that's what it takes, if you think referral will be impossible to get given what your DH told your pediatrician.

In this day and age, in this country, it's not that hard to get an ASD evaluation. I don't mean it as a slight to you, it's just your child is either on the spectrum or not, and the tests will show it, regardless of what Dad misrepresented. Don't make it overcomplicated. If the record is too mixed, change providers and control the narrative.

Unless you are a doctor, there is little chance you can get back to same earning potential, especially in the Midwest. You will not be able to live on 75K, with a SN child and save anything for the child's future or your retirement. Look into hiring a case manager as a private concierge service, if your child is too old for nannies.[/quote]

When it's a borderline case or the child is young enough that any diagnosis would be tentative, that's when parent input can matter. Whether delivered by questionnaire or some other way. If OP's DH is filling the questionnaire with denial and spin, that's going to potentially influence the outcome.

Sadly, providers are all too familiar with dad-denial and dads on the spectrum, so they often take that into account.[/quote]

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