Reply to Main breadwinner for family but need to quit because of SN child

Forum Index » Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities

Reply to "Main breadwinner for family but need to quit because of SN child "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]OP - I feel your pain; my DH is unable to manage our kid's health issues too. A few years ago, my DH took a leave of absence as our DS's needs were overwhelming. To make a long story short, I still managed all of the appointments (scheduling, paperwork, going to appointments, including many that were far away). For whatever reason, my DH simply could not face the issues. I don't know. I've never figured it out. We had the opposite issue; he felt the sky was falling when he spoke with some drs and with others he said nothing was wrong. He viewed what I saw as normal boy behavior as clear defiance/emotional issues and yet overlooked what I viewed as very significant indicators of a medical issue.

Fast forward to now, we have finally come up with a solution. I still do 75% of the medical work, but we've allocated in other ways. For example, I schedule ever single medical appointment, but he takes the kids to all dental, ortho, and OT appointments. I do the initial consults but he does the day-to-day. He fills out every single school/camp/insurance form. We do all narrative intake forms (e.g., describe the problem) together. I think it's important for drs. to hear both sides of the story - I feel like my DH tends to overstate emotional and understate medical, and he thinks I do the opposite, and I think both of our perceptions and observations can inform the dr. BUT, my DH isn't saying everything is rosy.

I take a ton of time to help my DS with homework, organization, tutors, getting him to and from places (and we have a nanny). I'm able to do this b/c my job is flexible. I work nearly every Saturday and Sunday; I work after the kids go to bed, etc. BUT, I never cook, clean, or take the trash out (I actually like cooking, but I'd rather be with my kids, so I gave it up). I've outsourced as much as possible and my house isn't as tidy as I would like. We eat a lot of tacos, but this is the only way we've gotten it to work. It took us 12 years to get here...But we did it. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics