Reply to Main breadwinner for family but need to quit because of SN child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wonder if OP is dealing with severe behaviors at home & school on top of a demanding job - that can indeed start to seem impossible especially if the coparent is really dropping the ball. If OP is using significant time during the day to deal with school, insurance, therapists, then comes home to ALSO have to do most of the cooking/cleaning WHILE dealing with a tantruming rigid kid … then that could be completely overwhelming if she also has a difficult job. I’ve been in varieties of that scenario and really only get by because my job is 100% remote and flexible and takes less than 40hrs/week. if OP’s job is at all demanding it could seem impossible. [/quote]

Maybe OP's low-earning DH can do the cooking/cleaning! Oh wait we're not allowed to talk about that completely obvious solution.[/quote]

PP here. If her DH is anything like mine he doesn’t do cooking or cleaning …[/quote]

Op Here. They are mocking me for not wanting to get into why that’s not a solution to my problems. They think if I just talk to DH, or take him to therapy, or stop doing things, or divorce him that somehow the dishes/laundry/trash/cooking will get magically get done.
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OP, I have a non-participating circus (now ex) husband. I can relate to your post in that sense and in the sense that DH was not connected enough to see/articulate any problems.  No amount of talking, begging, threatening would get him to change.

I did quit my job with 2 kids each of whom sound less severely affected than your DC.  I would absolutely advise against it. While I was able to help my kids, it wrecked my income earning power and you need to have $$ with an SN child. I was fortunate that I had $$ support from family of origin.

I agree with others who say hire out more - house care and  childcare/driving to therapies, and connect with therapy providers and doctors by phone or email.

Also, consider change jobs if it gives you more flexibility or long term security if the pay decrease is marginal. But absolutely do not quit completely.

Don't believe that if you only do it for X years you can get to a better place. There is always some emergency even when things get better.

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