Reply to Barbie movie 'iconic' monologue is BS

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I didn't like the monologue either especially the beginning..."it's literally impossible to be a woman"

It's not impossible. I am one everyday. So much of it was the helpless, victim role, but women never acknowledge how we feed into it especially things like beauty standards, plastic surgery, etc. Women put that pressure on themselves. [/quote]

Did you never study even a little feminism? I mean, The Beauty Myth has many flaws but it covered this ground 30 years ago -- and was required reading in my high school in the 90s.

I agree with a PP who thought the movie was pretty dark (though fun!) and the monologue is not really the point of the story. I wouldn't be shocked if it was a late addition. [/quote]

I think it is a generational thing. As a Boomer, I thought the monologue was directed to Gen X women. My Gen X friends found the monologue to be very moving and touching, while my Boomer friends and I thought, basically, "No sh!t, Sherlock", and "Didn't we figure this out 50 years ago?"[/quote]

That’s an interesting take.
I’m a GenX-er and I let out an audible laugh at this monologue because to me, it feeds right into what the boomers were told would happen (usually by men who were not pleased with the whole “women in the workplace” thing). “You won’t like it….” “You can’t do it ALL”, “We have division of labor in a household for a reason”, “running a home is a full-time job! You can’t expect to work 8-10 hours a day and come home with energy left over to do all of the following: grocery shop, cook, do laundry, clean, take care of the kids/help with homework, volunteer in the community/school…you’ll hate it!”
But our moms said “no, no—we got this! Watch us!”

But it turns out the nay-sayers weren’t wrong. At all.

As evidenced by the monologue.

I chose to stay at home and pour all my energy into the full-time job there. And I don’t feel that “expectation” that America Ferrera ranted about.
It honestly comes off as someone whining about getting what you signed up for!

[/quote]

I think the “you can’t do it all” is just BS to make people who can’t work and take care of their family and feel better.[/quote]

I mean, most people can't do it all, in that there are only so many hours in the day. So if you have two spouses with high-powered careers, and tons of travel, and you also want three kids and want home cooked meals and to personally shuttle those kids to their activities - yeah, very few people can make that work.

Now, if you adjust your expectations - one spouse steps back, or they take turns, or you outsource, or you have one kid instead of three - more doable. I prefer the saying that you can't do it all at the same time. Life ebbs and flows. Which is not always apparent to youngsters of 22 or even 28. :)[/quote]

So? So what if you can’t do it all. Do what makes you happy.

The fact that you describe “adjust your expectations “ as not having 2 high power jobs shows you’ve been socialized to do exactly what the Barbie movie points out.

You think a nurse is not a job? Or teacher? Or a government lawyer? Or a psychologist? Or a dentist? None of those are high power.

I don’t think going to school is outsourcing do you? I don’t slaughter my own beef, is that outsourcing.

You’ve got yourself all twisted up, relax.

Do what makes you happy and just stop twisting yourself all up
Over others expectations.

So what if I’m thin and workout, own my own business, have a H that is <fillin blank successfully job>, and we raise our kids and coach their teams and cook at home and are home every night and do it well.

Who care why does that bother you so much.[/quote]

What bothers me is when people think that somehow they are failing if they can't magically have everything they want at the same time. My point is that doesn't work for the vast majority of people, men and women both. If that is cultural, it's American culture, not some big patriarchal conspiracy.

I do think putting your 13 year old in an Uber to get to tutoring is outsourcing. I don't think any of the other things you mention are, and I am not sure why you would think that, but whatever. However, I also don't care if someone puts their 13 year old in an Uber, if that's what works for them. It doesn't work for me, and so I make choices that don't require me to do it.

As it happens I am a government lawyer, and the trade-off I made, in order to have the time I want with my family, is to work in an area that I find interesting but not extraordinarily compelling, and not become an AUSA, which would be my first choice. Because the hours and stress and travel of an AUSA job would mean I don't have enough time with my kids. But I don't feel that I had to make that choice because I am a woman, and that my government lawyer husband doesn't have to make that choice. He in fact made the exact same choice. There is only so much time in the day. We all make these choices and I don't perceive that the patriarchy is keeping me from a fulfilling life.[/quote]

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