Reply to How to avoid traveling to in laws every thanksgiving and Xmas

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just do 1 either Thanksgiving or Christmas.

[b]You both have to get over the idea that holidays are about extended family.They aren’t.  [/b]How old are your kids and how many do you have? Do you like Thanksgiving food?

Personally I would travel for Thanksgiving and do Christmas at home. None of us like Thanksgiving food so making a bunch of food that we don’t even like when it would only be the four of us was silly. Though our best Thanksgiving was actually going on vacation and eating at a nice restaurants for Thanksgiving, no one ordered turkey.

Personally I also like having the house decorated for Christmas, doing Christmas stuff leading up to Christmas and on Christmas Day just staying in pajamas while the kids play with their toys. DH grew up with always going to Christmas at his grandmothers so his parents never decorated or did much for the holiday which he found sad. He loves that our house has all the Christmas bells and whistles. [/quote]

Op here. Part of the reason I want the holidays to be about extended family is because I want my kids to remember that it’s important to spend holidays with grandparents too. I know DCUM is big on hard lines and boundary setting so this is not a popular view, but I would be very sad if my kids never wanted to spend the holidays with me when I’m old. I would absolutely travel to them though if they prefer it.

To all those saying my DH should do more, he actually does a lot on the actual holiday day (tgiving and Xmas) when he has no work. But almost all the days leading up and after it, he has to work for at least a few hours everyday. He runs his own business so he is never truly off- when there is work, there’s work. It feels unfair to ask him to then do hours of childcare after working. [/quote]

I don’t run my own business, so no, I don’t know what I’m talking about here. But from the outside it appears that if you’re financially well enough to take at least three people on four flights within a month, he probably can take more than two days off — or swap his schedule so that the absolutely necessary logistics work happens after the kids go to bed. [/quote]

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