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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am burnt out on the mental load of being responsible for another human being. I am tired of everyday feeling like Groundhog today.

I hate that even the simplest of tasks become a pain in the rear, like taking my kid to the grocery store. I hate the constant viral illness, the pick up and drop offs, the tantrums. I hate what pregnancy and a large T-shaped c-section incision makes my stomach look. I had mastitis 5x. I have no local support or grandparents to help out with. My husband and I pay for our village (babysitter) if we want to do a date night. I hate it that as soon after I'm putting my son to bed my husband is pawing at me to give him physical attention and all I want to be is left alone.

Today, I spent time hosting a pretend birthday party for Chase from Paw Patrol with my son because he wanted to bake a cake at 9AM. I didn't want to bake a cake at 9AM, so we picked up cupcakes and a balloon from the grocery store. But while we were there my son decided he wanted to hop on one foot and then suddenly dig his heels in while holding my hand and I was juggling a basket of groceries and food, looking like a lunatic as I try to juggle him in one hand and groceries in the other. It's just not how I want to spend my time. I don't want to do the imaginary play. It's like this all the time. Everything is a struggle, if we go to the park it's fine but always an inevitable meltdown when he wants to leave. Getting dressed is a pain. Giving him a bath is a pain. He is constantly moving and on the go and his pediatrician just shrugs her shoulders and says that 4 year old boys are like "squirrels on speed." I am ALWAYS always mentally exhausted.

I fantasize all the time about just running away. I love my son with all my heart, I am depressed I know I am. I am on escitalopram. I exercise, I work full-time, I spent plenty of time with my kid but I am just not finding parenting and motherhood brings me as much joy as it does to other mothers. We are wanting to send our son to a private religious school and I'm in the process of converting to Catholicism. I am attending weekly classes and it just feels like another chore, because taking my son to Mass is a royal pain. He refuses to sit still.

My husband does his fair share of the household chores. I am still responsible for most of the cooking/cleaning/chores. I had a night alone to myself last week and feel like I could have two weeks alone and it might be enough. I am so miserable that I am considering divorce just so I can have shared custody. I feel guilty when I do take time for myself and let my son sit on his iPad while I wax my armpits or something else.

Motherhood hasn't been a joy for me. It has been a chore. A neverending chore.
[/quote]

You sound depressed so maybe a visit to your PC doc is in order with a physical and an anti depressant.  I am sorry that you are going through such a hard time, but, honestly, I had to laugh at your child hoping on one foot.

If all else fails then I recommend getting a. Baseball bat and some over ripe melons and going to back yard and beating the living daylight out of them while you scream about how you feel.  I did this once and it really helped.

If I knew you, I would come to your house and give you a full days vacation from everything.[/quote]

No she doesn’t. Lol. She sounds like a good mom who is venting. Stop blaming depression on everything when in fact she just doesn’t like being a mom but is sucking it up like many moms do.[/quote]

She's thinking about divorcing her husband........... [/quote]

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