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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am another mom who refuses to do pretend play. I just can't do it. I refuse. I used to tell my eldest "It is not my job to play with your toys." Fortunately the middle sibling is old enough to play with him. My DH will pretend play (he also plays video games, which I find to be childish and a waste of time.)

If your husband has enough energy to be amorous every night he has enough energy to run piss and vinegar out of the 4 year old for one hour minimum, preferably outdoors. You need to tell him about the divorce thought. Tell him your depression is flaring up. I told my husband I was overwhelmed with childcare and housework and that I wanted to hire a neighbor kid to take the kids to the park so I can work in peace and he magically found the energy to step up more. Your son would benefit from martial arts, soccer etc especially if they are your husband's job and not just another chore for you.

The having to hire your village thing is unfortunately the new normal. I had to hire doulas to be with me in the hospital to give birth. My husband has worked through me recovering from elective surgery with the kids watching TV for 8 hours a day etc[/quote]
Agree on the pretend play and the rest of what you’ve written.

OP, I’m glad you are focusing on the most important thing here, which is getting your depression under control. You also no doubt need a lot more sleep than you are getting. You definitely don’t have the bandwidth to convert to a new religion—I think you should hit pause on that one.  Once you are feeling better, I think you should focus on the things you enjoy about parenting and do more of those things and less of the ones you’re not a natural at. DH can step up or a neighborhood kid can do pretend play while you get some relaxation time or go to the store in peace. My older kids are happy young adults now despite only a few desultory efforts at pretend play from me.

Good luck. [/quote]

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