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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ugh.  While I sympathize, this woman has wreaked operational havoc on the schools her children have attended.  I know one AP who spent her summer dealing with document requests from her instead of working on things that were needed to open school in the fall. [/quote]

She was an "advocate" for one of the students in my lower ES class. She and the mom of the child were nasty from the second we sat down in an initial meeting. I typically walk into a meeting and present a pleasant greeting and small talk. Neither would make eye contact, let alone smile. They interrupted and they looked for any opportunity to find a "gotcha" moment. I remember trying to point out some positives about the child's academic work and they didn't want to hear it. It was all very negative and stressful when all I wanted to do was work with the parent in support of the child.[/quote]

Nobody owes you pleasantries especially during a stressful time. Your focus once you walk in that room should be identifying problems and solutions to help that child. The parent (or child if they are present) should be the lead voice of the meeting, if they find it necessary to interrupt anyone then so be it. Sounds like you weren’t being helpful and they were trying to best utilize the time and keep the focus on identifying concerns and solutions. An advocate is there to help advocate for the child/parent and step in when they need to keep the focus on problems and solutions, it sounds like they  did that. If something offended you then you should use it as a learning experience for how to conduct yourself differently next time. [b]A productive IEP will skew negative and stressful in general,[/b] so you might need to change your expectations. I hope you keep the bad mouthing of other advocates and parents to yourself though, it’s  really not a good look for a teacher.[/quote]
You sound insufferable PP. I am so glad I am not a teacher.  You can be an advocate and not act like a jerk. Coming at people rudely immediately puts them on the defensive. In fact-this is common sense for anyone with any sort of interpersonal skills. You can be direct and respectful.  [/quote]

Have you ever been in an IEP? You would understand what I meant by negative and stressful usually equates to productive. Negative referring to the fact that most of the meeting is centered around your child’s deficits and what they can’t do. It’s not a pleasant meeting on that basis alone, no matter how “nice” people are being. It’s also stressful trying to come to a consensus with 5-10 people about how to work together to fix all the things wrong with your child within the confines of a broken system. That’s when the parent and advocate have to take charge and voice what’s important. The advocate usually seems like the bad guy because it often seems like an us (child, parent, advocate, outside providers) vs them (teachers, school personnel) approach when school districts try to skirt the issues like the teacher I was replying to was likely doing. You can be the nicest person in the world and a productive IEP will probably still leave you feeling like $&@! A teacher needs to know when saying all the great things about little Larlo isn’t useful.[/quote]

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