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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DS is a freshman. Very good student, does all his work with no parental involvement, currently getting all As and a high B in AP US history with minimal effort, plus ~2hrs of intense practice for his sport a day. 
Generally we've been pretty hands off. We expect him to put in effort in school, exposed him to a lot in childhood, but did not really push hard on any academic enrichment or even monitor homework. He goes to public school. Participating in the intense sport is 100% his choosing - he may or may end up good enough, or interested enough, to participate in college. Otherwise he's a pretty ordinary kid with a good group of friends.

I'm wondering if, now that he's in high school, we should up our game. We're a donut hole family, so ultimately, where he goes to college will depend on aid offers, and while DH and I are of the mind that he is likely to be successful wherever he ends up, DS himself is focused on going to a very good school. If we doubled down, hired a tutor, or just did extensive review with him before those AP history tests, I'm pretty sure that high B in his AP class could be an A. I just don't know if that's worth it, and this college game is all new to me.

I feel this trade off between helping him get into the best school possible, but with a load of perhaps unnecessary stress and parental involvement, and letting him continue to be the one in the drivers seat and modeling balance instead of achieve-at-all-costs. Curious what those who have been through the college process think.[/quote]

I haven't read everything. Anything.

Suggestion is to not tiger mom anything. Whether you're looking for merit or top 20 admit, that kind of thing needs to be self-motivated. It's there or it's not. Don't bother pushing. In 9th grade, I would give a heads up about family finances and what it takes for merit and acceptances to the more selective schools. Be extremely realistic. There are about 20 schools that will make it work out for every family.
Identify them

And be totally cool with State U honors program.

Good grades and test scores are the first part of anything. It's the rest of it that matters. Be passionate about something. Thats's the thing that shines through.[/quote]

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