Reply to Aspergers, fighting and contemplating divorce

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am an NT wife married to an undiagnosed ASD spouse. We've managed to make it to 37 years of marriage. The secret is to NOT depend on them for anything at all!

My husband provided financially and that was all, which I was grateful to him for. They can't and won't be able to meet your other needs so don't even ask them to. Find other things to bring you joy and happiness. If you are financially independent I would strongly advise you to divorce them and date or marry someone who can meet your other needs. Otherwise you will look back on your life and feel cheated out of things you missed out on.

Don't make the mistake of having children with them because they don't parent properly and it will be solely on your shoulders. Your adult children will resent you and will inherit the same strange selfish traits as the aspie. They watch and learn through their childhood how your aspie spouse treats you and will copy. It’s shocking how blunt and disrespectful they become as adult children.

If your aspie has addictions, they will follow in his footsteps no matter how hard to try to prevent it. So, if you think you're doing your kids a favor by staying with their father, it simply isn't true.

Today we are older and retired. It doesnt get better but only worse because now your children are gone and you are now focused on eachother. If your aspie neglected you during your marriage you will feel pure resentment towards them. It won't be the retirement you imagined but pure hell and regret. If you spent years surrounded by people and things to fill in the gaps and keep you happy, you are now completely exposed and it will hit you like a brick wall. Your health, wellbeing and self esteem will plummet. Your aspie will have more extreme melt downs  and rage episodes. Striking out at me with cussing and swearing not to mention physical abuse. Its a lose lose situation and I'm still considering finding a more suitable place to live just for my sanity. If I thought things could get this bad I would have left decades ago. If your reading this and thinking that I knew about his Aspurgers and realized what I was getting myself into, you are wrong. He was barely diagnosed 3 months ago!

[/quote]

This.

Thank you.[/quote]

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