Reply to WWYD? Being asked NOT to bring a new spouse and children

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
You consult the ex-SIL on the matter.

[/quote]

Huh? No. Not her issue, as none of the kids are minors. [/quote]

IMO the ex-wife (OP's former SIL and kids mother) may be the root of the problem. It is telling that OP stated, "His own children do not accept his new family, [b]his ex chose to stay out of it[/b]."  Really?

The fact OP mentions the ex-wife "chose to stay out of it" is a bit too convenient for me. I think the ex-wife may have got involved big-time and has probably influenced the kids.

Even if she is happily re-coupled herself, the ex-wife may simply not want another woman anywhere near the role of a "mother" type figure with her kids. Even adults kids. There is a strong loyalty bond between mothers and their children and kids will typically do anything to make mom happy - to include shunning their father and making any "stepmom" a very easy and sociologically-justified target for attack.

I would be willing to bet that mom has made direct and/or subtle comments and has adopted body language over the years (eye rolls, smirks, shrugs, faux sadness) which have affected those kids' attitudes towards spending time around their father's wife and that will never change now. [/quote]

Exactly this especially if she got custody.  Even if she cheated they will side with her.   [/quote]

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