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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’ve always out earned DH, sometimes by like 4x; right now by about 2x. That fact alone doesn’t bother me - it’s the mental load that bothers me. I am sometimes resentful because if I were a male earning what I earn, I could easily expect to have a wife that handled all the household and child-related tasks that I take on. DH is great, and does more than many, but he is not a wife.[/quote]

Every bit of this is also true for me. The only thing I would add is that I feel quite shunned by most other women -- including, sadly, my own mom and my MIL. No one has ever actually told me why but based on what I glean from a variety of comments, I think it is for some that they think I have it easy and have an unfair advantage in the workplace, and for some that I am selfish and chose my own career at a cost to my children and my husband (the truth is: he chose and I picked up the pieces). I have a handful of mom friends who don't shun me but for the most part, it is a lonely existence.[/quote]

Having an intense career and kids and handling most of the household work is a lonely existence? It describes 90 percent of the moms I know in DC, including myself. I’d say it’s exhausting and can be stressful but there’s also comradeship that comes from everyone being in basically the same boat.

I’m not complaining, though, because I know my DH handles more than most dads. We have very similar jobs and hours, so it’s painfully obvious whenever the home imbalance tips too far in my direction. [/quote]

It’s LONELY compared to the mom who gets to have coffee and yoga classes every day with her SAHM squad
 Once the kids are school age, it’s a life of leisure. [/quote]

That’s a lie. My wife is very busy all day. [/quote]

Busy doesn’t mean forming lasting friendships, which taking repeated unstructured time together. [/quote]

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