Reply to Dating a sweet kind loser

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Dating a sweet kind loser"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is really difficult. He is so kind and sweet but despite a PhD has barely gotten anywhere in life at age 50. Is very sympathetic with the downtrodden and has not succeeded materially at all. I respect that he lives within his means (has a housemate whose rent subsidizes his very low mortgage) but am tired of splitting the bill, treating and staying in. I feel so guilty bc he’s really nice but it hard to imagine living this way now.[/quote]

What does sympathetic with the downtrodden mean?

He volunteers a lot at church? 
Or he’s an anti-capitalist SJW who believes every OpEd in Wash Post?[/quote]

OP. Both actually.

He’s almost perverse in his rejection of what most people do to succeed. Like he works in a job with certain expectations for success and yet coaches himself not to let those metrics “define him.” I feel like buddy if it’s your job don’t fight it, do it. [/quote]

OP, you sound like the loser in this situation. [/quote]

No she doesn’t. They just sound incompatible.

The guy also sounds like he has a bit of a chip on his shoulders and can’t quite function in mainstream society. [/quote]

NP. Just because he does not choose to give priority to being whatever OP deems wealthy enough does not mean that he "can't function in mainstream society." Nowhere does she say anything that indicates that. In fact most of "mainstream society" is trying to get along, not clawing its way to make more, more, more and live in a certain type of house at a certain type of income bracket (like DCUM often thinks people "must" do).

You are basically diagnosing him as having some kind of mental shortcoming with that phrase. The shortcoming here is a moral one, and it's OP's. If she valued his compassion for others the way she values the idea of money/ambition/achievement, she would be match for him. But she's about apperances and income (she'll call that "stability," I suspect) so he would do better to date someone who has his same values, not OP. And if she married him, she would be back here in a few years lamenting how her DH does not try hard enough to make more money or get "better" jobs. Truly, they're not a match on the MOST fundamental level of values and priorities. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics