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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is really difficult. He is so kind and sweet but despite a PhD has barely gotten anywhere in life at age 50. Is very sympathetic with the downtrodden and has not succeeded materially at all. I respect that he lives within his means (has a housemate whose rent subsidizes his very low mortgage) but am tired of splitting the bill, treating and staying in. I feel so guilty bc he’s really nice but it hard to imagine living this way now.[/quote]

What does sympathetic with the downtrodden mean?

He volunteers a lot at church? 
Or he’s an anti-capitalist SJW who believes every OpEd in Wash Post?[/quote]

OP. Both actually.

He’s almost perverse in his rejection of what most people do to succeed. Like he works in a job with certain expectations for success and yet coaches himself not to let those metrics “define him.” I feel like buddy if it’s your job don’t fight it, do it. [/quote]

OP, you sound like the loser in this situation. [/quote]

No she doesn’t. They just sound incompatible.

The guy also sounds like he has a bit of a chip on his shoulders and can’t quite function in mainstream society. [/quote]

She does indeed sound like a loser. By her own admission this man is sweet, compassionate and accomplished. Yet, he is a loser in her mind because he is not wealthy. That makes her a loser. [/quote]

I am also willing to bet he actually has a fair amount of wealth — home equity, retirement savings, maybe a pension. That frugality including a roommate sounds financially strategic, not desperate to make a mortgage payment (he might also have been lonely at one point, or helped someone out who needed a place to live). He just doesn’t lavish spending. Sounds like she might leave him and then some day he dies with $20 million he leaves to the university scholarship fund or something.[/quote]

What’s in it for your loved ones if you are not using your resources to enjoy life with them ? Sounds mental to me - to save just for the sake of saving [/quote]

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