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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
By not giving money to #2, you’re essentially telling him that hard work doesn’t matter and all of his hard work  in getting the athletic scholarship do not matter.  Yes, life is not fair but parents need to treat both kids evenly, especially with money.  If #2 wants to share that money with #1, that’s up to him, not the parents.  Of course,  it is the parents money and they can do whatever they want, but it is a two way relationship and #2 is within his right not to speak to his mother because of this.  [/quote]

Wow---wouldn't want to live in your life.  Where everything is about money and you are not capable of working hard unless you are rewarded monetarily.

If my kid stopped talking to me because I did not give them the rest of their "college fund" I would wonder where we had gone wrong raising such an entitled brat[/quote]

Well, I work for Google and going by your logic, why would I work hard if I get paid the same salary as someone who is not, right?

As parents, I need to treat ALL of my kids fairly. In other words, I will divide my assets in 1/3 to each child.  They can divide among themselves if one sibling should get more than the other, that's not my job.  I hope I raise them well enough that they will do the right thing.

#2 is within his right to ask for that money that was set aside for his education.[/quote]

Very different situation---you work hard at your job because yes, someone with 5 years experience will get paid more than a new hire and if you do well you will get more raises/bonuses than someone who just slides by.

However, unless the parents say "there is $400K for each of you for college.  How you spend it is up to you---undergrad and grad or use it all for undergrad or don't use it all and get a scholarship.  Whatever is left we will find a way to transfer to you", the money is not the kids.  
We personally agreed to pay for all college expenses for our kids---if it's 90k/year and medical school or 20K/year and no grad school.  We don't keep track of "who spent what and the other gets the difference".

So unless parents stated this to their kids during HS/college decision making process, I'd be embarrassed to have a kid feel they are entitled to more $$$$.  
Then again, we have enough money so we didn't want our kids selecting a school just because it was cheaper....we allowed one kid to turn down $160K in merit (over 4 years) and instead go to another $80K+ school without any merit/FA.  95% of kids would have been forced to attend the school with merit simply for financial reasons. Instead our kid selected the best fit school for them and is doing extremely well and is happy.   But that doesn't mean our other kids who only spent $40K/year get extra $$$---they picked the right school for them.  
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