Reply to When people say ‘we are not ok’ in response to news events

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Whenever I see "not ok" posts it's usually in regards to violent crimes happening and surging in the news. Police killings of black people, Asian hate, LGBTQ losing rights, now Jews being killed by terrorists. And all of the people saying this are saying it because on some level they fear for their own safety (I mean I'm not even Jewish and I'm wondering if we'll see an uptick in terrorism on US soil) or are closely linked emotionally to those being marginalized/attacked. [b]Either way, if I see it and it's a friend, it doesn't matter to me if they're personally privileged or not - a friend checks in because they care, and it's a cry for help.[/b][/quote]

My closest friendship is falling apart because of this. My friend is lovely and so caring in so many ways (she works in social justice), but she's just incapable of expressing any empathy for anyone she feels is...not even more privileged that she is, but someone who has challenges that are different from hers. I've tried to express my feelings to her over the past several days, but she just ignores my messages, and then drops in once a day to text "That sucks". At first I thought she was uncomfortable for political reasons, but then I remembered the time I was in the hospital and heard nothing from her. She didn't even acknowledge it, or my six-week recovery, even though we were in touch every day of that time. The one vulnerability we share is being women, and I can count on her vehement support if I have a negative encounter with a man. But if it's anything else, she can't seem to bring herself to care. The one time she did actually engage with me about the current conflict in Israel/Gaza, she ranted about male violence. So I guess next time someone catcalls me and it bothers me, I'll reach out. But if I have a heart attack, if my pet dies, if someone spray paints a swastika on my door, I know she won't care. 
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