Reply to How to handle? Tough-to-coach kid with a family tragedy

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would only keep her if you can have an extra spot on the team to keep her.  Devastating some other kid and cutting them is not the right answer either.

Or agree you make her the manager.  Or you personally transition her to another team and environment that's more appropriate for you.  Time to get creative. There is a solution that does not involve F-ing over some other kid.

By the way, if she is less skilled and makes the team anyway the other kids all know it and they will know she got kept on the team because of her personal situation and [b]they likely won't be kind about it.[/b]  Not sure you're doing her any favors.[/quote]
What sort of monster are you raising? If you have a kid who ends up maybe not making team because the coaches accommodated a girl whose mother died, I would hope that you would put that into perspective. There are worse reasons for not making a team that people accept all the time--like the kid being the child of a coach. [/quote]

Kids that age are developmentally very self-absorbed.  They also end to have a very black and white view of right and wrong.  You can be histrionic about it but when those kids are alone and there are no parents around to mediate the conversation, they will think it's F-ed up that some deserving friend of theirs got cut.  From what the OP portrayed, this girl isn't even on the bubble.  She clearly wouldn't make the team if not for this circumstance.

There are other ways to show kindness.   Find another one.  Not suggesting the girl get cut and that's the end of it.  Make her the manager or give her an extra spot and make it clear to her she won't get a lot of playing time but she's welcome to develop skills at practice.[/quote]

Then, if after a season she hasn’t improved, talk to the dad and say that she will most likely be on a lower team the following season.[/quote]

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