Reply to Psychologist recommends bathroom time out as punishment. Thoughts?

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Psychologist recommends bathroom time out as punishment. Thoughts?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Exactly what are the behavior issues?[/quote]

DC is relatively quick to get emotional about things not going DC's way and sometimes lashes out (yelling or hitting at us, which is especially likely when DC is tired), and sometimes doesn't listen when asked to do something, and other run of the mill stuff. I lose my patience and raise my voice more than I care to admit and more than I think is effective. I also feel very reactive to situations at times, for example, giving threats and repeated warnings out of frustration. So it's not anything too extreme (and DC is very well behaved at school, actually), but I would like to feel like I have a better handle on things in those situations and for me and DH to be on the same page about how to appropriately respond (e.g., what sorts of consequences will their be for not listening, yelling, hitting etc.). DH is a great dad but he shoots from the hip when it comes to handling DC and I think it would help to have someone external give us guidance that we can generally keep in mind and follow.

I am not completely disregarding what the psychologist said but I will modify to suit a more authoritative style. I will also seek out someone else whose values are more consistent with ours and have that person talk with both me and DH because I really think it will help reduce some of the parenting stress and could also improve the relationships between each of us.[/quote]

OP, your DC is yelling at you and hitting you at 6 years old?  That's not minor and I agree with the psychologist.  "Don't hit" and sent to bedroom/wherever immediately.  Every time, no questions, no discussion, no arguing, no back talk.  No second chances, no counting. Just immediate consequence.  Children with ADHD (or anxiety or ASD) can learn this just like NT kids, it just takes more repetition and more consistency.

Hitting doesn't need a conversation.  It needs to stop.

And you should also consider a formal evaluation.  [/quote]

Oh god please. DC swats at us or yells out of frustration once in a while, usually when tired (didn't sleep well, sick, etc), and immediately feels bad about losing temper. We don't sit down and have an extended discussion with DC when that happens. We immediately say no hitting and met out a consequence that is commensurate to the situation.

The point of the post was not to solicit your sanctimonious advice. I just wanted to know how the parenting advice struck people and basically have seen what I expected--some think it's cruel and some think it's reasonable, and others are creating strawmen to look for fights on an anonymous forum. Note, the psychologist DID NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT DC AND WHAT THE ISSUES WERE WHEN SHE GAVE THE ADVICE. This is her standard intervention for parenting issues. [/quote]

You didn’t post for advice, you posted because you wanted someone to validate your opinion.

Letting your kid argue with every rule you establish will exhaust you as a parent in to time. That’s not “authoritative parenting,” that’s insanity. Parents make rules because they have maturity and wisdom that children lack. [/quote]

Give it a rest with your condescending attitude and lecturing, and presumptions about what my child is like and what I'm like. If that's what you're like as a parent, I feel sorry for your kids.

I don't need validation from an anonymous forum. I genuinely posted to see what people think about the advice, whether they agree or not with it. I know what I think but I honestly don't care if others agree.  And fwiw, I do not allow my child to argue with me endlessly--you made that up in your head to feel better than others. There is something in between the extremes that works. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics