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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom’s estate will be divided equally among siblings when she passes and she is now mentally incapacitated so nothing will change at this point. We siblings all live in different cities and moved her where I am bc they had no intentions of stepping up in any caregiving capacity. In my future estate planning, I will set aside a sizable amount for whomever has taken on my eldercare responsibilities, should that situation come to pass. [/quote]

This.  My mom has taken on most responsibilities for her mom (who is rich and refuses to move into assisted living/nursing).  My mom's siblings all live within 10 minutes of their mom, yet only one uncle really helps.  The other two do very occasional and they are all splitting, although she keeps changing her mind.  My retired uncle told me she could change it (she cant she has dementia) when she said she wanted to give it to her favorite son. I reminded him how she wanted openly said she wanted to give her entire estate to my 4-year-old and I ignored it and he needed to buzz off.  Its already done and she can't change it in her state.

It is frustrating to see my mom who still works full time do the majority of the work when one sibling and husband are retired (and wealthy), another WFH and takes every Friday off, etc rarely help.

My mom can't see her grandkids much because her siblings refuse to help with their mom (she wasn't awful either they are all just self-involved imo).  None of them have grandkids.  and she'll get the same as her siblings.  [/quote]

This is not about inheritance though. Your mom should be compensated by her mother for her service. This  should be communicated to all the siblings. Open discussions need to occur about what's happening.[/quote]

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