Reply to DD leaving for college soon: can we repair our relationship before she leaves?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My daughter is by all accounts a good and nice person to her friends and boyfriend, but her relationship with her parents (us) has been strained for sometime. My friends and family have no clue but she barely talks to us or even acknowledges us when we are around, and I've even heard her telling friends how awful we are (she has on occasion lied to them as well, saying we have said or done something we flat out did not!). So there are many issues at hand, too many to say. For the past couple of years her way of dealing with her annoyance or maybe frustration with us has been to shut us out and go on living her life without getting us too involved. She follows some of our rules, but basically closes her door when she is home, makes her own meals, and then spends all her free time away from us. I thought she just wanted more independence, so a while ago we told her we understand she wants this and would do our best to flex the rules, things like curfew and such. Well, she took it and ran. Unfortunately the result is now she is leaving for college and basically doesn't talk to us unless she's forced, spending all her free time outside the house, and we are struggling to find a way through it. I dread her leaving for college thinking her family doesn't support her, and her then going out into the world feeling like she has no one to lean on when she's struggling. Whether this is her fault or ours, I'm sure at times it's been one or the other but at this point it really doesn't matter: I need to help her come back to us in a way she will receive, and begin to rebuild trust. I tried talking to her about this months ago and she shut me out, but I'm hoping with her about to leave she might be more open to an honest conversation. Anyone ever deal with something similar and can share words of wisdom? I'm quite heartbroken she seems so unhappy.[/quote]

I would just keep trying.  Doesn’t sound like there’s much room for optimism though.[/quote]

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