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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Are you”boat wife” from prior threads?[/quote]
Yup, I am embarrassed to admit.

I feel like I’m going to be posting these same pathetic threads when I’m 90. I’ll be in the assisted living home and he will still be bugging me to get a bigger boat. Why is it so hard to leave?[/quote]

Oh no. I am so sorry. I read all the previous threads.

Look, this is obviously a really hard and complicated situation for you. But the reason you keep posting here is because deep down you know this is a bad situation, but with us you can be anonymous and be brave inside. You are struggling to be brave outside. But you are doing it. Saying no to selling the house is a step. I think you will have to live with the discomfort and learn how to manage that. Someone said upthread that you are not responsible for his emotions, and that's 100% true. I am very conflict averse and in order to avoid the discomfort of sitting with someone being upset I will do anything to change it. Even if it's bad for me or is something I don't really want to do. But with practice I am much better at doing it. Embrace your own self-preservation.

I feel like this FL move is to get you isolated so he can continue to use your income to fund his interests without regard to what's best as a couple/family unit.

Stay strong.[/quote]
Thank you for this . I’m definitely conflict averse. We discussed the move again last night and I again said i just do not feel ready to move next month! Not at all. He said I’m not helping at all with the move— I told him it’s because I am not ready. He said he’s received zero support from me and I told him that I have likewise received zero support from him when I am so worried about this move (my gut is screaming no) that I can’t eat or sleep. I told him he’s doing the same thing he’s done with other big decisions— bulldozing me.

I do not want a for sale sign on my house next month. He is dragging me along. He can’t see how damaging this is. I’ve been telling him for months I am not ready for this. He won’t hear it. He told me that my issues with the move are MY issues and if I want to go to a therapist to discuss them, that’s fine, but he’s not going.

He has a lot of nerve to push this through when it’s my income that is allowing for such a move in the first place. But he knows— because I’ve left and come back a few times— that I’ll never really leave. Or he thinks he knows that.

He told me last night that I’m afraid of change, my life is ruled by anxiety, I am negative, and that he wants to start a new life in a new place where we can have new experiences. He wants, he wants, he wants.

I’m going to have to leave him for real this time. All of you who said he will never change, are right. He’s changed in some ways but a big issue like this he reverts to his old self. I am a grown, independent woman. This is  not 1950. Life is too short to live like this.[/quote]

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