Reply to I don’t understand how people claim the affair partner is blameless?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "I don’t understand how people claim the affair partner is blameless? "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I do not understand the cognitive dissonance that leads a betrayed spouse to vilify one party in their betrayal while continuing to have sex with the other party. That makes no sense to me. If you believe the spouse can be forgiven then obviously the AP didn’t do you such a bad turn that you’re not literally having sex with the person who brought them into your life.

Betrayed spouses who leave there cheaters and continue to hate both parties seem at least consistent to me.

And if you say “but I love my husband/wife!” then you’re admitting the pre-existing relationship matters, and therefore the AP— with no existing relationship with you— is off the hook.

Never cheated myself but have seen a few adulterous situations unfold in our social group. [b]Much easier to keep the spouses who left the cheaters than deal with the hypocrisy of the ones who didn’t.[/b]
[/quote]

So you find people who experience biologically pre-ordained anger at mate-poachers to be so hypocritical that you kick them out of your social group?

What I do not understand is judging people on how they feel after being traumatized. That's a weird hobby. Do you also spend time judging people for how they react to other types of abuse?[/quote]

Not how they feel. How they behave.

If your “biologically pre-ordained” anger leads you to vilify someone you don’t know for not caring about the impact of their behavior on you, but sleep with and pay bills for the other party who also didn’t care about the impact of that same behavior on you, and should reasonably have been expected to, I don’t want to hear about how the AP is such an irredeemable monster but we should all keep inviting your spouse to events. 
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics