Reply to "Your spouse should handle the ILs" Why?

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Reply to ""Your spouse should handle the ILs" Why? "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I like my ILs, but they have 1940s expectations of gender roles. No thanks.

I’m happy to talk, talk on the phone, email or text them when it is pleasant conversation like birthday greetings, inquiring how they are feeling during an illness, thanking them for sending a gift, etc.

When they try to talk to me and only me about vacations, holidays, menus, visit length, etc., I loop DH in and exit the conversation. Even though it has been made clear to them—by both me directly and DH/me jointly—that DH is their point person for logistics, planning, etc., they try to make it me and only me, because they think that is “women’s work.” Nope!

They’ve even tried to talk to ME about their desire for my husband to call them more. I just stood there, bemused, and FIL said, “Yes, we’ve asked him to call more, but, well, you’re the wife so he’ll listen to you if you tell him to.” And I said, “No, [b]I’m not Brian’s secretary. [/b]He has your phone number. [b]If you want to talk to the son you raised, [/b]give him a call. If you want him to call you more often, ask him.” And then [b]I walked away and refuse to engage [/b]in any sort of conversation like that. Now, I just say, “Hey Brian, your dad wants to talk to you.” And off I go.[/quote]

There is having spouses run communications with their own parents, and there is being rude.  This is rude and hostile.   [/quote]

Nope, I didn’t start there, but I got there after decades of this nonsensical and antiquated expectation and treatment.[/quote]

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