Reply to "Your spouse should handle the ILs" Why?

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Reply to ""Your spouse should handle the ILs" Why? "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because if my SIL ever says anything to my mom, she'll immediately start whining to all the relatives how it's really her (SIL's) idea, and her poor boy has to deal with that.

If my brother talks to my mom, that nips it in the bud, right there.[/quote]

This is DHs cousin’s wife. The family talks so negatively about her because she has no issue talking to her ILs directly and they’ve built her up to be some kind of controlling horrible person. Cousin is an only child so he can do no wrong and anything they don’t agree with is all her fault. I stand up for her every time because she is a genuine and sweet person but seeing what she goes through has pushed me towards not having any difficult convos with my ILs. [/quote]

My DH was the textbook middle child and his entire family got used to him not having an opinion on family plans and things. So once I entered the picture, and especially once we had kids, it was a huge adjustment for everyone that all of a sudden our little wing of the extended family had an opinion. And no SIL (eldest child) was not just going to get her way on everything. There were definitely some growing pains but we've been married 20 years and everyone adjusted a long time ago.[/quote]

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