Reply to Anyone else just stop initiating or asking for sex from their partner?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Anyone else just stop initiating or asking for sex from their partner?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I still have sex with my husband a few times a week but my libido in menopause fell off a cliff.  I would rather just go to sleep.  However, I want to keep my marriage together and I would like to have a relatively happy spouse so I have sex when I don't want to.  I want my libido back and I've sought medical treatment and other tricks. etc.  Some have helped but it sucks.  I understand both sides of this one.  [/quote]

this is me. DW with no libido at all. a response? sure.

what medical treatment were you able to get?

im interested in seeking out a gyno, and figuring out why i have no libido at all. not on birth control. just turned 40.

its prob bc i am a parent of a 5 year old, have a stressful job, no meaningful help at home, just so exhausted. sex is just another thing that needs to be done, like the never ending piles of laundry, drop offs/pick ups, cleaning, etc... [/quote]

This is me as well (40F). It's really difficult because DH's high sex drive is completely normal and healthy, and so is my lower one. He feels unappreciated, undesired, and rejected, and I feel guilty and pressured. We also had 5+ years of infertility sex which sort of broke the emotional connection we used to have. Upside of infertility is that I'm now very aware of my cycles, and try my hardest to initiate as much as possible mid-cycle when my libido is higher during ovulation. And we communicate often during the second half of my cycle when my interest falls off a cliff. He still gets frustrated when it goes a week or more, but we've been talking about how we can meet his need for emotional connection with non-sexual intimacy, physical touch, kind gestures, etc. And patience. I go from interested around ovulation, to willing, to completely disinterested and just wanting space, dammit. Then I get my period and the cycle repeats itself. Framing it as a cycle, not a permanent state of affairs, helps. As does compromise from both of us. Sometimes he just needs to not try to initiate, sometimes I need to initiate or go along even when I'm not totally feeling it. I genuinely wish I could take some of his testosterone and have sex on the mind like he does. I get glimpses of that occasionally and it's great. I do really worry about what full menopause will bring. Hopefully his libido will start dropping by then and we'll find a new normal. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics