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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Anyone else just stop initiating or asking for sex from their partner?"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wish I could get to this point. Every time I say to myself, that’s it, never going to try again. But I eventually cave. It’s so demoralizing and embarrassing and pathetic to try and initiate only to be told [b]I’m tired, have to go make lunch, have to go shopping in a minute, have to go to yoga, have to feed the f&cking dogs. [/b] I’ve communicated. I’ve said that hey maybe once in a blue moon it would be great if you initiated. Honestly can think of maybe one or two times that’s ever happened in the past 10 years of marriage. But OK, that’s not your thing, can you at least pretend to be into it? Not openly treat it like I just asked you to fold a load of laundry. Nope, apparently that’s asking too much. So, I end up just asking in some weird transactional kind of way. As romantic as doing your taxes. And 19x in 20 the answer is no. Feels really sh$tty. [/quote] I’m all over my husband. But then again, he does the shopping, feeds the kids, and feeds the dog. This gives me time and energy to want him.[/quote] Oh STFU. This is such a tired, repetitive response. Do the women saying it over and over again in response to literally any complaint about this issue think they’re making some staggering point? I do all these things as well; we both do, it’s a marriage. I also do things she doesn’t, and vice versa. That’s not the point, and my wife being stretched too thin isn’t the issue… she’s a SAHM and has support from a full time housekeeper, two kids in school, if that helps you. The point is: if I’ve got errands to run on a Saturday or whatever, and the rotation of the earth reversed itself such that DW initiated, I’d never be like “sorry no can do, need to be at Home Depot by 11:00.” [/quote] Honestly, I think most men let themselves go and expect women to put out. We get our hair, nails and make up done, smell good, go to the gym to lose weight, wear lingerie and you all think a hard penis is good enough. No… there is no reason you aren’t putting in an effort to be attractive. There is a reason she is not reaching for your penis and it’s not because she has to run errands…[/quote] Maybe. I haven’t. I take care of the kids all the time. I do chores. Honestly, stop reciting the same tired tropes about why women lose interest in sex. We all know the same 5 or so reasons. I don’t fall into that category. [b]I have all my hair, [/b]work out, am considered attractive and have had tons of girlfriends prior to marriage. I agree it’s just demoralizing to be with a low libido spouse with a take it or leave it, apathetic attitude toward our sex life. It’s really sad to me. To her it’s just me being too horny. I don’t agree. Why be in a marriage? Why have my libido locked ina cage? It’s unfair.[/quote] What is it with the hair, men? You are the only ones who care. Some of men recede, some go bald, some just thin, and a few have all of their hair. It just happens and you can't help it. It doesn't matter. To most people, anyway. No decent person is going to judge you because you lost the genetic lottery and have no hair. Although I will judge you if what hair you have left isn't clean or combed or trimmed, though. Also, what does having tons of girlfriends before you were married signify?! Nothing. As if success with women in your 20s means you are the whole package in your 50s. It doesn't. You need a whole lot MORE to be a catch in your 50s than you did in your 20s. Working out I'll give you. I love a man who takes care of himself, works out, does yoga, stays fit. Thanks for your continued efforts in that sphere. And of course I love that you are caring for kids and doing errands and taking care of the house. You are a partner to your spouse. Also, PSA to men everywhere. Take care of your feet. Do you have weird, thick, cracked, ugly toenails? Are your feet a mess? Do you prefer to keep your shoes and socks on so nobody can see your feet? Go to the f&cking podiatrist. You don't need to have "beautiful" feet, but non-fungus, cared for feet is important for your health and your partner's health. You can spread that fungus to your partner, and she's (or he's) not going to be pleased. [/quote]
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