Reply to I think I’m being taken advantage of by DD friend’s mom

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What I would do...

I would assume a positive viewpoint and assume that this mom is trying the best for her child and feel bad that she has to work until 9. That must be so hard to try to balance everything. But I am a teacher and see so many parents just trying to make it day to day. Most parents would LOVE to not work those hours but are forced to in order to just skate by.

[b]Should she have mentioned it originally? Of course. But it's very possible that in her list of priorities, that it slipped through. [/b]

Let the girls play and have dinner.

Then try to get to know the mom. See what her vibe is. If the girls get along, help out other times and make sure she knows that she is part of a community that helps and cares for each other.

Or you can just do what you are doing and judge her for needing help that day. That seems pretty consistent for the blessed DCUM community.[/quote]
The part for me that shows OP was manipulated is this. You ABSOLUTELY mention to the parent of a play date that you can’t pick up your child until 9pm! How does this slip one’s mind? It doesn’t.

“Hello Jane! The girls have been talking about getting together. Is this OK with you? Just a heads up, I work until 9pm. Will it still work on your end?”[/quote]

+1 it's fine to do a favor for someone. It's a nice thing actually. And can be win-win with kids getting to play and socialize. It's also okay to ask for a favor

It is not okay to misrepresent / spring it on someone. If someone asked if her kid could come to my house on a Wknd to play and then it turned out they'd be gone all day for XYZ plans. No way - that is a totally different situation. Whereas of they'd asked from the start "we need to do this on Saturday, and Larla would love to come over and see her friend, does that work" I would probably say fine.[/quote]

Playdates are not a favor.

If driving the girl home and 9pm is not an option you just text back... can the grandma pick up at 7 if not we can do it another day.[/quote]
I did ask this, and she more or less said it was hard for her mom to pick up after dark, then I felt bad. And she lives quite a ways away. The whole thing just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It’ll be a one shot.[/quote]

What if your daughter really likes this kid? Seems like you are more focused on the parents than what is good for the kids. [/quote]

Oh please; this woman is allowed to have other obligations beyond one playdate for her child.

OP, I think either you do it this once and then not again (or vet carefully) or ask the grandmother to pick up at 6pm.  Either way, [b]you didn't do anything wrong[/b].[/quote]

I mean she kinda did, she needs people to tell her how to talk like and adult to another parents. So...[/quote]

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