Reply to How can I explain to good friends who don’t understand SNs why a weekend trip is not possible for my kids

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Reply to "How can I explain to good friends who don’t understand SNs why a weekend trip is not possible for my kids "

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I tried to talk to my DH and he said the only thing he’s comfortable sharing is that our kids have some behavior challenges but he flipped out when I suggested sharing more. He kept going on and on about how I constantly overshare to try and make friends and it backfires on me, that this is personal info the kids will be judged on, that my friends will tell other parents in our small and competitive community and our kids will be judged, etc. He shut down any suggestion that people could grant us accommodation or Grace from disclosing additional information by saying that our kids have to live in this community for the next 15 years and he’ll be damned if I share their diagnoses with my friends because it’s not their business and they will judge us and tell other parents and gossip. And he said he’d rather be judged as an overbearing parent than have our kids private medical information shared. He said even when we have shared in the past about other medical issues they had (acute things) people don’t remember the details, just that your child has a problem. I don’t really know what to do…we are so far from being on the same page about this, and I don’t know how to get us on the same page. I’ve suggested marital counseling and therapy periodically for years (not just this but other issues) and he always says I’m the one with issues and I need to go but that he doesn’t. [/quote]

That is really hard and I’m sorry. Hav the kids have neuropsych testing? If not, how were they diagnosed? I ask because I think you could have the diagnostic professional talk to your husband. You could also have him attend the Shapiro parenting work shop. He is going to need to come up with some parenting strategies. As for your relationship, it must be very hard to have intimacy with someone who is so rigid. I am very sorry. I hope things get better. [/quote]

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